Oh, my email inbox.
I am drowning in my email inbox (4,491 messages right now). I really just need to do a massive purge and "Oh well" they're gone. I just keep thinking there's something important in there not labeled yet I'll need. In an effort to curb my obnoxious inbox, I decided to "unsubscribe" myself from a lot of emails that I don't need.
What an experience. I was getting probably over 50 emails a day, and most of them from things I didn't care about.
Dear Carnival Cruise Line: I've never been on your ship. I have a preconceived idea that it is for younger, drinking types, party cruise, so I will probably never go on your ship. Why do you send me an email every other day?
Dear Vacations-to-go: I'm a firm believer in you. I've used your products in the past...it's becoming the distant past. I do not forsee my traveling continueing any time soon. I love you, I know where you are, I'll call you back.
Dear Pottery Barn/Williams Sonoma/Target/Lands End/et cetera:
Again, Love You. Wish I could be with you - but it's just not happening right now. The mere fact that you dump an email a day into the inbox will not change that fact.
Dear Avantec Software: I don't know who you are or why I get your emails. I'm sure I downloaded some program of yours along the way. Your emails were only occationally, but this year you've ramped it up to every-other-day. I don't even know who you are and now you're constantly in my face. P.S. IT WAS NOT FUNNY that when I unsubscribed from you, you sent me emails in german for a couple of days just to play with my mind.
Dear Republican Party: You've made me increasingly frustrated the last five years. And you gave my email address out to the County, City, candidates, every conservative organization; I was getting 5-10 emails from various people on any given day. We're done. If you spent half as much time getting decent candidates as you do sending out emails, we'd all be doing better. I will continue to vote. Can't guarantee it will be along party lines.
STOP EMAILING MEEEEEEEE.
STOP EMAILING MEEEEEEEE.
But by far the most irritating offender:
Let's just say that my definition of breaking news is: Something that is major, perhaps life changing, an emergency, something I need to know about now - it can't wait until the 4,5,6, or 11 o'clock hour.
Channel 8's definition: Every little nit picky story out there.
It's only 2:27p.m. and this is what they've sent me today:
- Body outside of bar
- police have been called to the scene
- Repeated with - more on our 4 a.m. newscast
- The body has been identified
- Pictures of a suspected kidnapper (from a crime 5 days ago, mind you)
- Family releases pictures of the slain person from 1,2,3 & 4 above
- Accident closes 95 at Ann Road.
- Pictures of a suspect released from a crime earlier in the week.
If I was driving away and noticed the accident on 95, that would be helpful. N.O.N.E. of the other emails matter. All of them could have waited until the newscast tonight. To get the occassional 9.0 Japan earthquake, I have to wade through 10 useless emails a day. KLAS, as much as I love you, we're done.
Dear KLAS: I have been a fan of your news team for over 30 years. But your "Breaking News" emails have got to stop. They are clogging up my inbox. I would gladly "Unsubscribe" but that takes me to a form to fill out asking my email address, password, and something else. What the??? I don't know my password, I just know I DON'T WANT YOUR EMAILS ANY MORE. Perhaps you could put George Knapp's investigative team on this breaking news item: People can't unsubscribe from you.
Everyone else: I look forward to your emails.