Saturday, September 26, 2009

The CREATE Video On My Sidebar

"In the end, the number of prayers we say
may contribute to our happiness,
but the number of prayers we answer
may of even greater importance."
Today is the General Relief Society Broadcast. I love this meeting. I have attended almost all of them since they started with President Kimball in the late '70s. Each meeting will bring messages that touch your heart. Last year was no different.
My inner conversation had started at least 18 months before. Do any of you carry on these conversations with yourself? Searching, wondering, thinking about it. In the end, for me they always lead to feeling sorry for myself. You'd think I'd stop having these conversations! But sometimes things just strike you and you just mull it over and think about it. 18 months before I had bought a Christmas CD which I loved. I read about the artist and it dawned on me she had fully developed her talent, she went to school, she worked professionally, and she was raising a lovely family. Then came the bad thought: Why didn't I do that? A couple of months later I was talking to a friend at church and she was talking about how she was playing in a community orchestra one night a week. She had had all three children while playing in this orchestra. Again, Why didn't I keep it up? I could have done that. I would have really enjoyed that.
Then in the midst of all the negative thoughts a couple of points rose to the surface, 1) You can still do it. 2) You did the best you could - you were a little busy with a young family, and for you that was what you could handle.
"Creating and being compassionate
are two activities that we as
His spirit children can and should emulate."
I decided I could still do it. I could have picked up my flute, practiced up, and kept going, but I kind of wanted to try a different instrument. And if I get a do-over, I'd like to play the harp. It seems so cool. So I researched a little. Found a teacher. Purchased a harp, and got started.
That was June. Four months later in September I had gone through the summer lessons and I was terrible! Not really terrible, but a beginner. I was discouraged I didn't have the time to practice like I used to in high school. I figured out that back then, my life was totally my own, so if I practiced all afternoon, no big deal. But now. There are demands. Things to take care of and do. I can't just drop everything and practice. So frusterating. Also, just because you can play an instrument, why did I think I'd be able to play another one at the same level? Weird brain of mine. I was wondering if I had made a mistake, who was I to think I could do this?
"Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment.
We develop ourselves and others when we
take unorganized matter into our hands and
mold it into something of beauty."
As Pres. Uchtdorf began to speak, it was as if the topic was chosen for me. His words calmed the inner turmoil I had been feeling for 18 months. I hadn't missed out on anything. I had been busy creating a family. And now, I can learn to create music again. And don't be so critical of yourself. and... and... and...
"I also pray that the Holy Ghost
will amplify my words and bestow
upon them additional meaning, insight, and inspirations."
Thank you.
It was nice of the church to create a little video of my personal message! I hope you enjoy it and that it inspires you as well.
Full text here.

As for the harp lessons - they continue on. It is harder than I ever imagined. There are so many technical things that happen besides just playing notes. Little nuances in hand position. I have a problem placing my thumbs higher and bringing my fingers in flat, it's a constant weekly comment in my notebook. I'm excited to be learning. Sometimes I just can't practice as much as I'd like, and I don't beat myself up about it, there are times when being compassionate trumps being creative.

That is the story of why I have the Create video on my sidebar. I can't wait to hear today's talks and what my inspiration for this next year will be.


Missty said...

I love that your playing the Harp! very cool!

And your poor foot! OH MY GOSH!! Ouch!! I hope your feeling better soon.

earlfam said...

I'm going to be lazy and cut and paste here from my convo with my sisters last week.

"The thing is I've always really wanted to be able to play the piano. And I don't think I actually have the physical ability to do it. But I figure if I keep working hard at it, at least I'll get better. And maybe when I'm resurrected and have a perfect body, I won't be held back by this flawed and limited body anymore and all my efforts will pay off and I'll just be able to sit down and play anything and everything I want. But I can't expect that I'll have that blessing if I don't put in the effort at some point."

Screwed Up Texan said...

I love Elder U's (sorry but I can't ever remember how to spell his name, lol) Create video. Very inspiring and heart-touching. Doncha think he sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Only better.

smallawei said...