Right Brained vs. Left Brained Remodeling

I'm trying to be like Jesus, but this morning, I was convinced it's just not possible.  Jesus, as far as I've read, never went through a remodel.  I'M LOSING MY RELIGION, PEOPLE!!! 

As I've thought about it today, I think I've decided there is a definite right brain/left brain problem with this whole process.  Half of me has had it the other half is trying the talk down the crazy lady.  What set me off this morning was discussing the laundry room, and the fact that there are heaves in the cement floor.  And Ron wants to pour self-leveling concrete to level it out before installing the flooring option. 

And.I.just.want.it.done. 

This will add one or two days to the process.  And then if we tile, that's like a week (times 3 because the rule is every thing costs twice as much and takes three times as long to do as you originally thought) more to complete tiling.

I just want it done.  Today.  Can we just throw a rug down, over the two peeling layers of linoleum, and call it done?

That's what one side of my brain says.  The other side says, "it's only a couple of weeks, and it will be done right, and when it's done, it's done."

I can't handle the mess.  The non kitchen.  The non family room.  No extra bathroom. 

The decisions are incredible.  I like certain things.  I hate paying the price that they sell those things for.  I really want a bombay type chest as a vanity cabinet in the bathroom.  (I can buy a chest new for around $400, or used on craigslist, then modify the drawers so the sink would fit in - but a new one ready to go, set it in place, over $1,200.  Really? I can't bring myself to spend that kind of money for a bathroom sink cabinet....but it would look so cool. How can I get this look for less?)

I spent an hour and a half looking at sinks online.  And toilets. 

And I went through all this time to pick out tile, because Ron says, "I really don't care what you do."  This whole process has taught me that when Ron says, "I really don't care what you do."  What he is really saying is, "I really don't want to talk about this right now, but yes, I have very definite opinions on what you should do."  So after I've spent hours coordinating and figuring out what to do in a certain room (let's take the bathroom) when he's ready to discuss it, everything I planned on goes out the window.  I had a nice pencil tile picked out.  And now he wants slabs of marble, or whatever, because he saw them in a hotel and he thinks that's a nice clean look.  I think he doesn't want to take the time to install the tile.  Three slabs, a little/lot of goop, and slap them in place. done and done.  whereas tile would be another week long extravaganza, and after tiling the laundry room floor, he'll be done with his tiling quota for awhile.

The walls in the house were going to be ivory.  They're now darker.  I don't know how to describe it, it's in the brown/grey color family.  I actually really like it.  It's just not what I spent hours picking out after he really didn't care what I did.

All of this is enough to make me go crazy. I thought I was ordering cabinets.  I had called this company 3, THREE, different times asking questions.  Then I send in my order and they call me back and tell me the color I chose for the cabinets has a 25% premium.  Really?  That was the first question I asked.

The final straw this morning was realizing that General Conference is in 10 days.  And there is no way I will be laying on my own couch watching conference in the front room and fixing a big breakfast for whomever was invited over to join us.  Nope.  In my bedroom watching conference it will be.

And since the cabinet order was put on hold, I'm scared I won't have cabinets installed for cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Hopefully by the end of the week I will have a different cabinet person or will break down and pay the dang 25% premium BECAUSE AFTER ALL OF THIS I'M GOING TO HAVE GREY CABINETS COME HELL OR HIGH WATER.

So while half of me is throwing a royal fit, the other half is trying to be patient and understanding of: the heat this summer, how busy we are with work (thank you, thank you, thank you), family responsibilities.  We only have so much energy.  Ron leaves at 5 in the morning and doesn't end his day until 6 or 7.   Girls camp, family vacation, YM trips took up several weeks.   Ron refuses to pay anyone to do something he can do (i.e. laying tile). ((I know, I know, his time is worth money and sometimes it's worth it to pay someone to do something, even though you could do it yourself, because your time is more judiciously spent elsewhere, I know, I know.  Tell the other half of his brain)).  I'm trying to be patient.

Maybe this is the "always darkest before the dawn" moment in this remodel extravaganza.   

Rant over.