So the last few weeks I've been thinking...It all started when I caught myself saying something I've been saying for the last 25 years: "I don't have time right now to do that, but when the kids grow up, I'm going to ________." Only this time when I said that, I stopped mid-thought. It dawned on me that the kids are pretty much grown up. Scott's out the door at 5:45. Jenn works full time and goes to school every evening. It's not like I have 5 little kids running around with 8 different cub scout/sports team schedules that I'm keeping track of.

I've noticed since this original mid-sentence thought, that it is a habit I've fallen into of lumping everything into that convenient excuse. This has caused a great deal of pondering over do I really want to do whatever it is I'm shoving aside, because the "kids" excuse really isn't working for me any more.

I think my next move is to start making a list of all the things I've been "going to do" and reevaluate if I'm really going to do them or not. I've pretty much decided one thing in all this pondering kind of stuff lately. I'm going to take a beginning Hebrew class next fall at UNLV. I love Jewish culture. I love the Old Testament. I love how understanding what they're celebrating and doing was all to focus on Christ, and if you understand they're festivals and such, it really makes the New Testament and Book of Mormon come alive. It is so cool that in the middle of the lighting ceremony Christ says, "duh...I am the light of the world..., this lighting ceremony you do in the middle of this feast(can't remember which one at the moment) is to point to the fact that I am going to come into the world and be the light of the world, it's not about lighting the caldrons. . ." I love it when I have a really good teacher (ahem....Br. Gardner...) who is reading through a verse of scripture and says as a by-the-way thought, 'in Hebrew that means..." I want to be able to do that. So not that I expect a class in Hebrew will teach me about the culture, but I just want to learn the language.

Other things on the short list are: learning to play the piano better, learning the harp, going to the gym regularly, learning music theory, getting on a real house keeping schedule, reading more books....That's the short list off the top of my head. I'll work on the long list and get back to you all...when I'm not so busy taking care of the kids.